Pushing down

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Josh started talking about Hanukah and Christmas today while we were getting ready to leave. Immediately I looked at our comforter. It even has the word "comfort" in it. Even if I've accepted it, I will never understand the need for a new one each year. What I will do is keep my mouth shut to them, and only vent it here (sorry).

In trying to make a list of things to get Josh, it's a good thing we have two months. So far all I've got is "Stuff from Jack Spade." Even their sale stuff is crazy expensive. Oh and also I agreed to go on a trip with Josh and that's coming up soon. Even though I know it'll be fun, these always make me nervous. It feels like I turn shrill and harpy, and I'm not even positive what harpy means. When we're here I'll go anywhere by myself. When we travel though, I never want Josh to leave me alone because of the worry I won't know how to do vacationing right.

I am considering having a panic attack. Every single member of this household is stressing me out. Sometimes I am jealous of the people who go crazy. It would be nice to let go that much.