Sudden and unsettling

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We are all very grateful to be saved from no electricity, being stranded in the city, not being able to get around to different parts of it. The scary part is not being able to go home. All the stuff from my mom is there. The scary part is not knowing what our place will look like when we get back. I mean, the odds are it's all fine. We don't have a basement and aren't on the top floor.

My sisters, Alex especially, are unsettled at being here even though they're having fun. We are stranded from our city, but if we'd stayed, we could have been stranded in there. I do not understand how Josh's people do this without worrying.

Also I am totally freaked out about how much this is costing. Doesn't it cost more to fly last minute? And hotel rooms are like at least $100 a night minimum, and these are nice ones so they're probably more. So every time Josh or his parents are like, "Why don't we go _______?" if it costs money, it feels horrible and greedy to be all enthusiastic about it. I had to go take a shower at like 5 a.m. so I could go cry in private from the stress. It makes me hate myself and feel so stupid that I can't enjoy a fancy vacation like anyone else would. I don't understand how people do this.